its my grandpas birthday day for another 40 minutes so lets talk abt him being an icon:

• keeping and naming his kidney stones
• falling asleep while driving
• on an fbi watchlist (we’re pretty sure)
• calls everyone he doesnt like a republican
• wanted my mom to name me herman (regardless of assigned gender, he later named his first kidney stone herman)
• admitted to using his dogs soap when he was too lazy to get the replacement soaps for his own from the car
• threatened one of my aunts boyfriends in his underwear with a hammer at 3 am when they were teenagers
• finishes his sentences with “ill tell ya”
• let me watch the exorcist when i was 6
• used to tie our sleeves together when we got in trouble
• my grandma found out i smoke weed and told him about it and all he had to say was “thats all you get high on?”
• came over to our house with a shot gun when my mom asked him to get a mouse out of the wall

dont call me ed. but also im not but thank u bc no one has told me theyre proud of me in a long time so :’)

my chest hurts

love is patient